There's A Mass Shooting Gap!

Did you know Russia just had their first ever school shooting this year. How pathetic, grow up Russia! Shit school shootings haven't even been cool here since the late 90's. Now we have about one of those a day here in the states. They're just minor blips on the news between the latest update on Jay Z and the many health benefits of Chocolate. Daily random acts of violence perpetrated by children are just one of the many benefits of having a free and open democracy!. Its ok though when the Russians become sufficiently free after the right free market reforms than they can enjoy all the wanton violence that comes with having a society like ours, but for now you gotta face it Russia you got nothin on us! We built way more missiles in the cold war now we're beating your asses in the race to produce petty mass murders! USA! USA! USA!