Star Wars: A New Gloat

If we're going to build his bullshit museum we should really sit Lucas down first and explain it's not a museum about him it's a museum about Star Wars. If you really think about it Lucas kinda sucks ass. Star Wars was just sort of a fluke. Don't believe me? Well, here's the link to his IMDB page
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000184/
Yeah, just read over it for a moment. The shit far outweighs the gems and just because he's a special kind of narcissistic dumbass (the type who demands a museum because he made one good movie that one time) he just can't quit while he's ahead which is why he insists on ruining the few things he actually did right. 
Fuck this museum!I is it really worth feeding this guy's ego by paying an admission fee that will have all but the biggest dipshits feeling like they just ripped off just to look at the flight suit Luke wore in his X-Wing, or Lando's cape?
The interesting thing about Star Wars is while it's his masterpiece it also highlights just how fucking inept he is. For one thing, he didn't even direct the best one (Empire Strikes Back) and what was his big idea for Return of the Jedi? They built a second fucking Death Star?? So the big idea that failed so spectacularly the first time, they're just gonna go ahead and do it again except even shittier this time around because now it has to stay in proximity to Ewok world so it can have its shield? That's what we're supposed to believe? Think about the series as a whole. The majority of them suck anyway. Out of 6 there are only 2.5 good ones!
 Eat shit Lucas. You're really more of a toy maker than a filmmaker. Let's be honest you owe the bulk of your success to the fact licensing Star Wars merchandise turned out to be wildly profitable. The only reason this being called the "George Lucas" museum and not just the "Star War" museum is because this thing is meant to pander to pretentious types who want to pretend that this side show attraction is about the celebration of an exceptional "filmmaker" and not just a prop exhibit attached to a toy store.
Fact is he's gone one thing on his resume, and he's shown us time and time again he has no ability to be consistently good. This museum is bullshit. 

If You're Brave...

If you've ever re-posted a meme requesting people who don't share your views on some issue "delete you now," please go ahead and delete yourself now. I don't mean delete your profile from some digital acquaintances list, but delete your body from this plane of existence. Please kill yourself. Most people won't be brave enough to re-post this but a few will. Will you? Well, no because re-posting a meme doesn't make you brave...at all not in the least bit. All it does is stroke the ego of some dick stick with Photoshop and too much time.

Medicinal use

Not to brag but it has just been confirmed sex with me has medicinal benefits! My girlfriend was complaining of a headache I had sex with her and it cleared right up. So I have the sperm of a Shaman. Until someone has told you there are clear medical benefits to your genitals you shouldn't feel like your life is all that great.

Keep the Faith

Interfaith relationships are very interesting to me. Probably because its an example of why you don't need to take your particular denomination too seriously. One glaring example of this is Jewish/Christian couples.  So the foundation of Christianity is the belief that Christ was God on Earth and you can only achieve salvation by accepting him as your savior. Isn't that in rather stark contrast to the belief he was a heretic and a phony? Christmas sort of highlights this.  I suppose it's a bit of an Abrahamic Romeo and Juliette sort of situation.

I Wanna Live Forever!

Don't get me wrong I appreciate modern science. I am fully aware without the efforts of great scientific minds we wouldn't have things like antibiotics, an electric grid, or spray cheese. Yes if it weren't for the many breakthroughs brought to us by modern science chances are I would not be here today shooting my mouth off over this global communications network called the internet, however I do like to think I also recognize when people are running a gambit and the scientific community seems to be plenty full of charlatans and I'm not just talking about those physicists with the ski resort that houses that silly machine they claim can find "god particles" but all its done so far is create a black hole with a powerful gravitational field that somehow only pulls money towards it. They know what they're doing and its probably best just to ignore it. I'm talking about the scientists and engineers promising things like space colonies and immortality via the wonders of cybernetics. You don't have to be a PhD in anything to know two things;
1. Humans are never going to live on Mars
2. Human wills never be able to download their conciseness into cyborg bodies allowing the to live in perpetuity
These are both great ideas for science fiction movies but in reality they are simply scams. I'll explain how it works
First an absurdly rich person(s) has an existential crisis. They realize despite their vast wealth they will one day have to die like the rest of us and that upsets them as well it should. When you have hundreds of millions or billions of dollars life is quite enjoyable and it seems unfair the party should ever have to stop. These uber rich folk meet prominent scientists at dinner parties and other social functions because chances are they went to the same elite schools, schools like Princeton, Harvard, etc schools that all have what in common? They're famous for teaching people how to lie to obtain vast sums of money. These scientists make vague promises about helping these titans of finance and industry live forever they just need some start up money. Something to the tune of say 350 million to start. The rich person says "Hey I know of a pension fund that has about that much in it! I think I'll rob it blind!" They give it to the scientists in the form of grants who then use it on blow and hookers and laugh the whole time at the ridiculous notion of people living in space or becoming immortal cyborgs.

Goin Dutch

http://www.rt.com/news/214283-dutchman-makes-proposal-crane/

I can't be the only one just a little annoyed that this asshole somehow has the money for a stunt like this. Although that must have figured into the woman accepting this proposal. I imagine the though process was; "Well he's a fuckin tool but he does have the cash to rent a crane and a plane all in one day." I'm always quite suspicious when people feel they have to make a wedding proposal/announcement as grand a spectacle as possible. It seems to suggest some insecurity and doubt. After all isn't asking someone to marry you via the scoreboard of a stadium on a nationally televised game sort of a way to back someone into a corner? People who feel the need to pull shit like this are what keeps the divorce lawyers in business. I wonder how any engagements have been launched purely for the benefit of social media accounts. Getting engaged for the sake of having a cute story is childish, immature, and in just profoundly annoying....I'm not too fond of the Dutch either. 

Ghost Busters 3 Exclusive News!!!

Hollywood has again been the victim of another cyberattack. It is unclear whether the enemy is foreign or domestic. The culprits have leaked production and story info on the much-anticipated Ghost Busters 3! 
The movie begins in a courtroom. At least two of the Ghost Busters are suing the manufacturer of the proton packs after they've developed a rare kind of cancer linked to the exposure of the packs radioactive materials. 

Its Complimentary

It's time we reigned in the rather liberal use of the word "complimentary" by restaurants and clubs promoting package deals. I passed by a place today that had a sign out advertising their new years eve party. For 75 dollars you get an open bar, appetizers, they'll include you in a champagne toast at midnight, and at the end of it you get a "complimentary" bag of party favors. So apparently the 75 dollars covers all except this bag of unspecified goodies this is just something extra they give you because, hey they are just nice people. So at what point when paying for something do things stop being inclusive and start being free extras or complimentary? Apparently whenever you want. You see this term being thrown around all the time. Dinner is $100 but the drinks; those are "complimentary" as in free so apparently the $100 didn't cover it. For $10, you can get a hamburger bun and a complimentary meat pattie. I'm sure one day you'll be informed the drink you just bought comes with a complimentary glass at no extra charge, how wonderful! So in the spirit of this I'm going to throw my own new years eve bash. For 35 dollars you can share a bottle of Gordons vodka with me, you get a slice of frozen pizza, and if I'm still awake at midnight you can participate in a toast with me and a bottle of Corbell. If you're thinking how can this get any better? Well, at midnight I promise we can make out, and I'll sloppily and aggressively grope you and I'll do it for free!

Thanks For Nothing

I wish service people in stores where I didn't buy anything wouldn't say "thank you" as I'm walking out the door empty-handed. I'm visiting Cincinnati, and I was in a part of town, the equivalent of which would probably be Lincoln Park. I went into a store where they were selling a bunch of Buddhist themed merchandise. For some reason, yuppies and housewives got really into Buddhism back in the 90s (not enough to actually practice it), and it just sort of stuck. I think it had something to do with that Brad Pitt movie. Anyway I went in looked around and left and as I'm leaving the lady says "thank you!" Thank you for what? I didn't buy anything I just took up space for a brief moment, possibly farted, then left. The only thing I could conclude is she was being sarcastic and as a non-paying customer I don't appreciate that kind of service.