Imagine

Some time ago a group of people fed up with the problems of the broader society decided they would break away and built a new social order. They recruited the best and brightest and set about creating a community that was the first of its kind.
They decided many of the problems in the outside world arose from ignorance. So it was important to make sure the citizens of this new community were well educated.
Guns were not allowed, nor was any kind of hate speech, and all food was to be locally grown and organic. People were allowed to worship as they wanted, even though most were atheists, and all the bathrooms were unisex.
Teachers, doctors, lawyers, engineers, academics, and if any of them had married brand ambassadors or social media advisors they were invited along. These concerned citizens came together to form the backbone of a new city and a new way of life christened Imagine.
Because everyone was a working professional the economy of Imagine was quite healthy. Businesses thrived, the municipal government had plenty of revenues, and crime was almost nonexistent. Imagine was a model city.
One day though an outsider seeking refuge in the thriving metropolis beseeched the leaders of the community to take him and his family in and so a town meeting was held.
The outsider was a young boy named Ty. He lived with his mother and three siblings. His father had gone to jail was he was very young and very little else was known about him.
"Why didn't your father work?" asked Eric Johnson the Mayor of Imagine.
"I don't know he just never had a job." said the boy.
"Why not?" Asked the Mayor.
"My mom says he never finished school," replied Ty
"You should go to school if you want a good job." Said Mayor Tristan Johnson
"I know." Said Ty
"So why didn't he finish school." Asked the Mayor
"My mom said the school they went to was dangerous, and people got shot there." Replied Ty
"Huh," Replied Mayor Tristan
Ty was sent away while the people of Imagine decided whether if he and his family could live with them.
"Well, this is just so sad!" Lamented Kristen a sociology teacher. "That poor boy's parents were systematically denied education, and now  they live in chronic poverty!"
The rest of the town agreed it was very sad.
"So do we let him stay?" Aske the mayor.
His question was answered with silence.
"What if he's a danger to the community?" Asked Jerry Anderson an attorney appointed to oversee public safety
"we can't just assume because he's poor he's also a criminal," cried Kristen
"I pay a lot of money to make sure my kids get the best education possible I don't want anything threatening that." Said Brian Hedges a local plastic surgeon.
"He's right we can't take any chances with our children they're far too precious!" Said Jenniffer, an elementary school teacher.
"What are you people saying!" Shouted Kirsten. "This boy has not had the same good fortune like the rest of us. If we don't help him how will Imagine ever serve as a shining example to the rest of the country?"
The towns people sat in quiet contemplation.
Later that evening Ty was called back in and informed Imagine didn't have room for him at this time, but they would pay to have a school built in Ty's town. They would fully fund it, and Ty and everyone in his community would finally be able to get the education they deserve! Ty shrugged his shoulders and took the news back to his family.
At the next town meeting when the budget was being discussed the new school that had been christened Ty High came up on the agenda. The people of Imagine looked over the budget proposal and decided it all sounded ok. There was just one protest.
"If we go through with this project there won't be enough to pay for new Mandarin instructors for our kids!" Called out Kristen the sociology teacher.
"So what do we do?" asked the Mayor
"I don't know, but there has to be another way!" the town agreed.
When Ty High was opened the new students found their classroom to be a warehouse. There were 19 teachers for 3,000 of them. Thanks to the generous gift of education things stayed much the same.

Heal the World

I don’t know if the human race will ever decide to collectively end hunger on a global scale, but if they ever do just remember, a Steve Urkel based board game came first. Actually given that fact it’s probably safe to assume not only will things like world hunger never be fixed but we’re probably doomed as a  species.

Brave New World

Remember when you got a new game system you would just put the game in and start playing? That was so lame. I’d much rather sit through a 20-minute update, have to sign into an account I forgot the password for, then take a stupid fucking picture of my face so I can always see what a dipshit I looked like when I decided to pay 400 dollars for this experience. We’ve really come a long way!

Rock the Bullshit!

If there is one thing we should have learned by now "rocking" something or for something is not an effective method for social change. It failed in 1969 when thousands of self-described "flower children" swarmed into a small town about brought with them a carnival of sex and drugs featuring the most popular musicians of that day.
People hoped that this marked some kind of change in consciousness, they never defined what that was, but the hope was that this change would bring about the end of some of the worse aspects of our current social system. Of course, this failed.
The next thing people attempted to "rock" was the vote. I feel this failure needs no explaining. Now thanks to some media conglomerate a concert is being organized so we can finally have a "dialogue on racism" a hopefully dissuade enough people from adopting racist views so we might one day eliminate it from this society.
Farrell, Bruce Springsteen, John Legend, Pink and many more will be performing and hopefully if the people there have enough fun institutionalized racism should take a big hit! The logic is as follows. Subsidiaries of the same corporate media conglomerates who bring you news that vilifies black movements is going to really stick it to racism this time with a big old concert! The best part is they actually ask you donate your money to put on this charade. Come on television viewer this is your chance to make really history!
Seriously in the commercial they say, "let's make history tonight!" Apparently in between the performances of the corporate media's most prominent creations there will be some kind of discussion about racism and all the pain it causes. Confused? Yeah, I know I am. This is bullshit on a whole nother level. If you didn't yet hate this society I hope this information changed your mind.

Poop Happens

Women, I think it would be a good idea if the next time you go out on a date, and you're all dolled up and what not to make sure you make mention of a recent bowel movement you had. It needn't be gratuitous you can take a tactful approach with a statement like "The last poop I talk floated, and I've read that has something to with its bacterial content." When people meet on a date there, it is presumable thy have some interest in seeing each other more than once so the protocol dictates that we sit around conversing so we can find common ground. Can you think of anything more universal than shitting? I bet you can't. Dating is one of those social constructs that requires you to put really on an act. You have to dress nicer than you normal wood and spend frivolously. In short it is putting on something of an act. You're trying to get something from this person, so you do your best to inspire confidence. In other circumstance, this would be called manipulation.
This is why so many relationships fail right impressions lead to unfounded expectations. So ladies when you mention your poop to a man you are slipping him a reminder that you are putting on a bit of a facade, and so is he. The whole idea of hiding as much of your shittiness as possible with a person you may be planning on spending a rather large amount of time with is really bad planning. Share your shit.Women, I think it would be a good idea if the next time you go out on a date, and you're all dolled up and what not to make sure you make mention of a recent bowel movement you had. It needn't be gratuitous you can take a tactful approach with a statement like "The last poop I talk floated, and I've read that has something to with its bacterial content." When people meet on a date there, it is presumable thy have some interest in seeing each other more than once so the protocol dictates that we sit around conversing so we can find common ground. Can you think of anything more universal than shitting? I bet you can't. Dating is one of those social constructs that requires you to put really on an act. You have to dress nicer than you normally would and spend frivolously. In short it is creating a deception. You're trying to get something from this person, so you do your best to inspire confidence. In other circumstance, this would be called manipulation. 
This is why so many relationships fail right impressions lead to unreal expectations. So ladies when you mention your poop to a man you are slipping him a reminder that you are putting on a bit of a facade, and so is he. The whole idea of hiding as much of your shittiness as possible with a person you may be planning on spending a rather large amount of time with is really bad planning. Share your shit.

Dime Novels From Oblivion

A reworking.....

http://dimenovelsfromoblivion.blogspot.com/

I'm Happier for you!

My friend posted the screen shot from his wife’s ultrasound along with the announcement that the baby is going to be a girl. Which is fine, but someone commented, “She’s beautiful.” To be clear this was a black and white ultrasound, the photo looked similar to the sonar graphs taken when they’re hunting for the loch ness monsters. So calling it beautiful was kind of dumb. I think it was just comment one-upmanship. We get it we get it you're the happiest about this!

Border Up!

You can close the borders and institute the toughest set of immigration laws to date, but when has that worked? Not that it makes a difference. It won't be enough to protect you from gunmen, bombers, and the like. Even if the violent radicals created by the US military overseas can't get in, there are still plenty of angry, desperate people in this country with nothing to lose. All they're waiting for is something to give them a new sense of identity and the belief in a purpose.
 As economic conditions continue to deteriorate, and the state introduces more draconian laws to try and control a restive population you Wil see there is no shortage of American terrorists. They will have a variety of bizarre motives ranging from "restoration of the Republic" to just god ol fashion racial cleansing. So closed borders open boarders take the refugees don't take the refugees both sides miss the point but in the end it won't really matter

Oh Shit Children are the Future

I had a terrible realization the other day; children really are the fuckin future. Isn't that horrifying? Children are terrible. The only way I can figure they keep perpetuating themselves is through some kind of karmic cycle. Remember how shitty you were as a kid and a teenager? Well, that's why more keep getting made to punish the rest of us for being assholes.
So what can we do to prevent this horrible world from taking shape? Well, it turns out there is a solution already in the works. Cataclysmic global climate upheaval and environmental collapse.
This should create a planet inhospitable to the human race and in the process keep children from being the future. So let's acidify the ocean, burn the forests, and saturate the air with carbon! Together we can make sure children will not play any part in the future.

#Prayforsomeone

In the wake of the Paris attacks, the French president has announced the government's intentions to continue its bombing campaign in Syria. This act of aggression is apparently what instigated this attack on the French capital. So to recap France is going to continue to pursue the very strategy (of terror) that seems to end with its population centers being bombed. Now that's a sound strategy!
What everyone seems to be forgetting while they've been praying for Paris is France itself has been engaging in terrorism in some countries. Isn't bombing Syria terrorism? What about Mali? Remember Morroco?
Since France has declared it's going to continue terrorizing the Syrians, and we've decided we're going to show our sympathy through an empty gesture shouldn't we do it for the people actually being terrorized? Shouldn't we change our Facebook profile pics to Syrian flags? What about Iraqi flags? A million of them were slaughtered in an American terror campaign. Oh, wait for some reasons it's not terror when the slaughter is carried out through high-tech weaponry.

Battle of the Sexes

However, you may think the power is balanced between the sexes in this society it's undeniable women wield far more cultural influence by a mile and in a consumer based society that equals economic influence. Think about every popular cultural shift in the last 40 years odds are all the material items the clothes, records, etc. were either made for women or men seeking women. The 60s, for instance, did guys really want to live in vans talk about feminism and wear tye dye? 
No, they did it because that's what women dug at the time. Why do you think when it was over these "hippies" became brokers? Then came the 70s. Don't get me wrong disco had its gems but dress up like John Travolta and go dancing every weekend?
 No guy wanted to do that, and that's why so much cocaine was required then came the 80s. Well, clearly that was an entirely female oriented decade. Skip ahead to now. Think guys want to wear those skin tight jeans? Of course not it's just because women like them. Women, you control where the disposable income goes and that is some real power.

Follow That Dream!

Ted Bundy dropped out of law school so he could drive around Florida murdering, women. Nothing else mattered to him besides pursuing his passions; murder, rape, and necrophilia. Ted Bundy is an example of what can happen when you have the courage to follow your dreams.

Veterans Day

In the grand tradition of veterans day, the news media is discussing a topic that generally doesn't interest them the other 364 days of the year, veterans. Plenty of outlets had pieces ready to go about the dire suicide statistics among veterans, and they have people shouting "we need to do more!" Ok, do more what? What CNBC, CNN, and Fox forget to tell you when they were explaining why war is such a good idea is that it is an experience that destroys people mentally, and the sad truth is many of these people can never be put back together. 
These are people who are afraid to sleep because their nightmares will take them back to horrifying and violent experiences unimaginable to the rest of us. Thousands of these shattered souls are returning here, and there is absolutely no way to cope effectively with it. When society screams, "We need to do more!" what they are really saying is someone somewhere needs to just somehow make this go away and since its literally impossible to do this what can we do as a society to help alleviate the desperate situation many returning veterans find themselves in?
 Well, many veterans are finding themselves stuck in low-wage work because of the dismal job situation what can we do about that? Oh, nothing because society also decided some people don't deserve a living wage. What else is there? 
Well, Chicago decided to close its mental health facilities so you can forget about spreading some of the burdens around from the already over cumbered VA. Well, would you look at that it appears there is no solution within this context so we should probably stop letting rich people send our family members to war. That's exactly what it is. The stats are there Congress is filled with millionaires presidents aren't exactly working class people either. IF you want to know what the military experience is like for their kids, look up Hunter Biden, son of good ole Joe. He got booted out of the Navy for being a coke head but what were the consequences for him? Oh, he was just put on the board of a huge national gas company.

Star Wars: The Bullshit Strikes Back

The movement to boycott the new Star Wars is a marketing stunt. I am so confident of this I didn't even bother gathering any evidence to support this claim. Think of this though what has been getting people to talk about movies lately? 

Contrived controversy of course! 

Mad Max Fury Road was a fantastic display of the kind of buzz a movie can generate when people center it around arguments about gender norms and identity. That is probably why the director reportedly brought in some sort of feminist intellectual as a consultant. It added another layer to the contrived controversy. Holywood knows no one gives a shit about professional critics anymore.

 Everyone is interested in their own opinion and talking about it on the internet. A question like is "Fury Road" feminist or not is a way for people to develop an opinion on something they haven't even seen.

Did Star Wars need the marketing boost? No, probably not but this is a relatively cheap and easy stunt to pull off so why not?

The Ol' Stars and Stripes!

In the wake of what I think is now just the second or third most recent open air shooting in South Carolina there is a growing movement to remove the Confederate flag wherever it still may fly particularly in government buildings.
 The logic being that the flag is a symbol of a particularly embarrassing time in this nation's past when we had what was known as chattel slavery as a principle economic driver. This, of course, was built on the racist ideology of blacks being inferior and put here to be used simply as tools.
Ok, fair enough. The Confederacy was an attempt to keep that deplorable tradition alive, but if the idea here is to destroy racist symbols that drive people to violence why exactly isn't anyone talking about doing away with the American flag as well?
America as a nation existed quite a while before the idea of the Confederacy was even conceived. In fact had there not been an America there would not have been a Confederacy. Of course, America was a nation built by slavery and extermination of the natives so right there you already meet the criteria for doing away with this symbol.
Some would argue:"Yeah but the U.S. got rid of slavery you silly goose LOL!"
Well, no the new industrial economic model simply works by way of a different kind of slavery wage slavery. Now here is the part where it will be argued this is not the same because you have a "choice" and conditions aren't as bad (apparently as long as people don't actually see flogging they're happy) blah blah.
AS far as choice goes you must work for a wage or you die and as far a the conditions go wage slavery is now a worldwide system and just like older models of slavery some slaves get better deals than others.
Ok so what about the racist element? Sure we're all wage slaves now but at least we are all a level playing field right? Simply not true thanks to more subtle but still not so subtle institutionalized racism there is a growing income gap between white and black families. Blacks tend to face far more severe punishments for minor infractions as well. For instance selling, loose cigarets might get you strangled to death on the street.
Some have said the Confederate flag moves extremists to violence. That might be true, but again what about the American flag? Historically America has inspired people to be very violent. The waving stars and stripes has been carried to battlefields all across the globe. The Confederate flag was a banner in one war the American flag clearly has more blood on its cloth. I mean fuck if you want to talk about something dangerous extremist rally around have you seen the fucking military??
In conclusion, if you find comfort in meaningless gestures and debates by all means get rid of the Confederate flag and see what changes. If you want to have a serious conversation about the pain and suffering these symbols cause well then you might want to consider throwing away the old stars and stripes as well.

Investment Opportunities

I've noticed women will disproportionately reciprocate even the most token gesture of generosity. To give an example. My girlfriend has a friend visiting her she sees maybe twice a year. We decided to drink a bit, and this friend said she wanted to drink light and would rather have beer than the tequila we were drinking.
I offered to go to the store for her, and she gave me money for a six pack. Well, I paid for the six pack myself and gave her back her money. Long story short my girlfriend was so happy about it she decided to buy me dinner and that meal will probably cost somewhere in the neighborhood of 15-20 dollars. Not a bad investment.

Casual Racism For a Better Tomorrow

I've noticed millennials, particularly ones that live in the city like to pretend racism just doesn't exist no matter how apparent it may be. For instance, they don't much care for gentrification on paper but that never stops them in practice. If you were to ask the college kids or what are known as young urban professional moving into Wicker Park or Logan Square if they're gentrifying the area they would probably stay no we are making it better! 
Of course making it better just happened to involve driving out all the low-income people of color. In no way though is that related to racism, classism, or any other ism these hip post-racial folk would never dream of being a part of! 
 Another odd thing about this is they are even sensitive to white on white racism i.e. they don't much care for terms like pollock, mick, dago, etc. They also get upset over sweeping generalizations about nationalities.  For the life of me.I can't understand why!
 So I've decided to be casually racist more often in my day to day life. I'll say things like; "Nah I don't wanna eat there with all those loud eyetalians." Or "Isn't that place where the damn Romanians hang out?" Furthermore, I will take every opportunity possible to insult more nationalities based on old stereotypes. I will call the British incestuous organ eating ghouls. I will point out how strange it is the Scandinavians like to have pagan orgies in the woods.
Overly sensitive white people will get offended by this, and I'm ok with that. If someone gets genuinely offended by this sort of thing, I don't feel much in the way of sympathy just irritation. I forgot what the point to all this was...fuck being PC perhaps?

The Art of War: The National Veterans Art Museum in Chicago

Many people have taken to Instagram and in righteous indignation chastised a country for treating what should be a somber holiday and turning into an extravaganza of drunken gluttony. Their apparent goal is to remind the rest of us this holiday exists to honor the countless American military servicemen and women who died for something greater than themselves.
 Ok, fair enough. Selfless acts and people do deserve some recognition, but what many fail to realize is this day is a celebration of war the very thing that killed the people we're supposed to be mourning.
We cannot ask the dead about their experience in war. We cannot ask them if in their last moments they thought what they were supposedly fighting for was still worthwhile. This holiday exacerbates the symptoms of the disease of nationalism. It is a sickness that has claimed untold millions of lives.
The dead cannot speak, but those who survived war can still teach us quite a bit, and the way many veterans communicate the dark wisdom gained in war are communicating is through art.
The National Veterans Art Museum in portage park is a gallery made up of works created by war vets. The art was mostly produced in art therapy sessions. Art therapy is a way for veterans to articulate the internal torment the experience of war leaves with the people it destroys.
Pain awoke something in them, and they were able to find a new sense of purpose showing us the truth about war. Their art is inspired by their scars; it is an expression of their pain.
The fractured lives and shattered minds that made this art lift the veil of our denial. Viewers are forced to confront reality, and it is far different than the sanitized ego stroking romantic illusions of battle put forward in our culture.
The iconography of Death is heavily utilized in most of the pieces. War after all, is humanity's most death oriented endeavor. The hollowed eyes of skulls are painful reminders of extinguished human life.
There are a number of mediums on display, and there is not one that doesn't invoke a discomfort from the truth it forces on the eyes. Eyes that often have often never seen the human cost of war.
Each display tells of that cost; it is part of the artists story, it is a product of their struggle. Most importantly though it reminds us why it is important that we do not let this national holiday serve as a campaign to celebrate war.
We can really honor those who have fallen by learning from their deaths the ugly truth about war. War can only destroy. That is what it does.
 If we want to claim we care about veterans and those currently serving than the best thing we could do for them is not buy a yellow ribbon, hang a flag, or watch Saving Private Ryan. The best we could do is make sure no more lives are wasted on war.
http://www.nvam.org/#

Word of the Day!

PLEBISCITE
:  a vote by which the people of an entire country or district express an opinion for or against a proposal especially on a choice of government or ruler

This is a word I never once heard mentioned in any history or political science class I took at my wonderful accredited university, but it is still a word I think maybe worth knowing. Why is it worth knowing? Well, if you ask just about anyone at just about any point on the political spectrum in this country if they are happy with the way this little geopolitical entity is being managed chances are they would say no.

The strange consensus  seems to be "It's extremely flawed, but it's the best there is."  This is what you'll hear the further right you go and remarkably enough is often the same justification used by those who stuck in abusive relationships.

 Ok, so presumably people believe of all the current ways countries are being run the one in the United States produces the best results. Well, this is just patently untrue and can be proven so by just about every metric, so there's no need to bother really with this silly assumption. Something you often hear from people on the left is "People need to be governed by an elite because they don't know what is good for them." They will often tell you the most educated, i.e., the people who went to the most expensive schools should probably be making the decisions. It is about this time you will notice their degree from Columbia University.

 Ok so let's work off the premise people need rulers to guide them and this system of rule while far from perfect is preferable to any alternative. When decided whether or not something was successful it is important to look at the results. How do you think we're doing? Well without getting into exact figures surrounding issues like education, crime, etc. let's just look at a few decisions are oligarchic rulers have made over the years and think is this what we would have chosen?

Since the end of the second world war, another thing we can thank our oh so wise leaders for the United States and a handful of other countries have produced thousands of nuclear weapons. It may be worth noting the US, the self-proclaimed leader of the free world has produced, deployed, and used more of these weapons than any other nation that has acquired them to date. Is this something you and your family would have voted for, a doomsday arsenal? If you lived in the galactic empire, say on Tatooine would you have voted on the construction of the death star? No of course not because galactic empires don't make decisions based on popular consensus and neither does the US. Currently, about a trillion dollars worth of upgrades are scheduled for this arsenal. If Mr. Obama or Mr. Bush had asked you if this was a good idea, do you think you would have said yes?

What about fracking. Sure a modern society runs on energy and now seeing as how we seem to be scrapping the bottom of the barrel those in charge saw fracking as a good way to go. The problem for everyone else is it turned out this process poisons water supplies and causes otherwise rare cancers to develop in nearby residents. Of course none of the people who made this decision live anywhere nearby. Is this something you would have voted for? What about the economy. I know it's a mysterious interlocking web of forces no peasant can understand, but let's just use one example say the bailout.   Hundreds of billions or perhaps even trillions of dollars was handed over to people who destroyed the retirement savings of millions of peoples, wiped out the college funds of just as many, and are now curiously holding cities all across the countries hostage by way of debt bonds. How about that is that something you your friends and family wold have decided is best? So those are the results of this social experiment thus far. Our wise leaders, those apparently who are the only ones fit to lead have set us up for nuclear Armageddon, environmental collapse and have bankrupted us while doing it. So again plebiscite maybe a word worth knowing, but then again probably not as my opinion doesn't matter and neither do of any of yours.

Thank God

I'm friends with a lot of people who at least profess to be Christian. So it always confuses me when I see these people thanking God for the things they have or asking God for more. I'm not exactly a biblical scholar but from what I've read God rarely does favors for people he's taken an active interest in. If God's talking to someone it's more often than not to make a demand and often it won't be something good for that person's health. Your typical conversation with God seems to go something like this:
God: I want you to give up all your stuff and go tell those pagans about me.
believer: All my stuff?
God: Yes all of it.
Believer: Including the house and farm?
God: Especially the house and farm.
Believer: Ok and you want me to tell the pagans to drop what they're doing and worship you?
God: Exactly
Believer: They might react poorly to that
God: Not really my problem, but hey there's a fifty-fifty chance I'll get you out of whatever trouble you get into.
Then it's only a matter of time before said person is executed, fed to lions, stoned to death, or made a slave. So if you're thanking God for your most recent raise, closing on your house, your kid's good grades, a recent gig, or anything else chances are God probably had nothing to do with any of that. If you knew what was good for you, you'd try and stay off his radar.

We Will Rock You!

People are warning the poor misguided demonstrators; people they see as having no idea why they are on the streets but who are always happy to break something may end up destroying the city! Ok, a few windows have been smashed and a building or two burnt, but just how worse off is the city? Well according to a recent WAVE study poor children in Baltimore are about as well off as children in Nigeria if that gives you an idea of what the city was like before these "riots" broke out. This has worked out well though for John Hopkins University as it needs a steady supply of cheap labor to run the cafeteria and maintain the campus for their more privileged students
Don't worry though they occasionally mention feeling bad for them in their sociology classes. It seems strange though Baltimore would be in this kind of a condition. It's a major port city on the east coast and apparently a major manufacturing center. Oh, no let me rephrase that. It WAS a major manufacturing center. So what happened? Well according to Wikipedia the factories left and the city went into a six-decade spiral of decline.
 So its the same old story. Massive joblessness leading to stunted social mobility, leading to hopelessness, leading to desperation leading to crime, etc.  Not to worry though Baltimore has experienced a revitalization now that it has transitioned into a "service economy!" So the waterfront real estate is doing just fine, the University is doing just fine, the rest of the city well see Nigeria. In summation if you're worried about a few rocks destroying Baltimore you probably need to pick up a few books on neo-liberal economics

UberKinder!

It really is just a shame that Himmler and DR, Mengele live to see "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody." Whether it's these two little UberKinders, a TV news anchor, or an Olympic gymnastics team this country really enjoys its little Aryan children.

You Have The Right To Do What You're Told

A number of people have posted "right things" to say during police encounters, basically what your rights are if you've been pulled over, stopped on the street, etc. The advice includes such things as refusing to get out of your car, refusing field toxicology testing, refusing to let the officer search you or your vehicle. This is extremely poor advice. More than likely trying to remind the officers you have "rights" will probably just irritate them and if you're unarmed and have no sway in the legal system this is probably a bad idea. The bill of rights is printed on paper and paper is a very poor defense against a baton or bullet. If you're affluent and have access to vast legal resources this advice may be useful, but if not it's a good way to get hurt and end up in jail.

There's No Place For Me in the X-Men

Sometimes I wonder if I'm a mutant, but my only power is the ability to always have lots and lots dandruff.

Boston Strong?

What are the criteria that have to be met before an event can be officially defined as a tragedy? Is it the scope of the event, or is it more about the people affected? Is a school shooting more of a tragedy than an office massacre because the victims might be primarily children?
 I have no idea, but what I do know is a tragedy is an event, and an event has to happen within a space.  It is very likely these spaces will be in a major city in the past this has presented abundant opportunities for profit.
 After 9/11 everyone wanted to by New York themed merchandise, after the Boston Marathon bombing a popular hashtag was adopted for a hot selling piece of merchandise a simple bracelet that said "Boston Strong" on it. So tragedy presents an opportunity for financial gain sure, but the problem is there is no way of knowing where and when one might happen. This might leave a potential producer of tragic accessories at a marked disadvantage. So what do you do? After 9/11, a lot of merchandises was produced based on specific references to the attack. One example is the t-shirt that featured the twin towers with accompanying text that said something like "9/11 never forget" The events of Boston changed this though. Instead of depicting anything specific from the event it was decided simply to adopt a slogan "Boston Strong" This is probably because unlike 9/11 there wasn't much iconic imagery that lent itself to an image that could be printed on a t-shirt. Now that it's possible to be this vague it is also possible to being producing merchandise that will be ready to go the minute the next "national tragedy" occurs in a major American city. Two words are all that's needed the name of the city and some positive sounding adjective. I'd recommend making a few different ones for each city, try out each hashtag and see which is most commonly used and there you go that will be the one you sell. People can feel like they've come together and stood against soe vague evil after they've paid five bucks for something that reads #chicagoreal or #LAtough or #cleavlandcool

Hows It Progressing?

"Progress" is a very nice word. It gives people a sense of accomplishment even if they had nothing to do with what they have deemed to be progress. For instance science and technology. Anything derived from science and turned into a usable technology, well that must be progress. The problem with this term is so far it doesn't seem to fit into the context of a definition that has anything to do with any sort of greater good, another nebulous term I know but bare with me.
 If you were to ask those you know if they believe humanity is progressing, chances are they would say yes. Then they would probably list off all the things that have been mass produced in great abundance and now make life much much easier. Ok, ignoring all the unforeseen consequences of things like automobile, heating and air systems, or atomic technology. There is a particular example I would like to bring to your attention, and you can tell me whether or not that's "progress." Right now, something called puberty blockers, drugs that halt the physical development that comes with puberty are in they're testing stage. These drugs effectively allow their users to remain as children.
 Now this concoction was something derived from the tools of science and engineered into something material, but would you call this progress? Seems to me this won't benefit anyone but some very rich pedophiles. Consider this, parents, when they meet with their child's teacher the point is usually to be updated on how said child is "progressing." If the teacher were to answer, "Billy's still 7, and it looks like he's going to stay that way." Doesn't it already seem like any definition of progress is being contradicted here?
Another fantastic example of what is considered "progress" is the video phone. Remember how cool the Jetsons made that look? Well, now this technology exists, and it's being put forward to solve a very modern problem. Working parents have no time for their children! That's right economic demands on the household are such that parents can no longer take the time to witness, or guide their child through early development, but don't worry technology has a solution!
Skype suggests parents just use their program to talk to their kids via the computer now. Isn't that great? You can now appear to your child as a simple figure on a screen, which, might be the way to go actually considering parents have already surrendered their children to electronic teachers and babysitters. Your child can now think of you as that person who comes on after Dora the Explorer! 
The problem with progress is no one bother to asks what point is being progressed to? Guns, for example, have come a long way. Did you know there are some that can shoot around 4,000 round a minute?! That's impressive, much more so than the single shot musket our ancestors used to kill shit. So for guns progress means being able to fire more ammo and faster. Makes sense, after all, this allows a gun to fulfill its purpose much more efficiently, but that was a bad example I know. What about mining tech? You know those 25 story drag lines they use when they're ripping the tops off mountains. Well, we need coal, right? We use it for electricity, heat, it is one of those things that makes modern life possible. So if the goal was to get more of it quicker well, then some very serious progress has been made.

Marriage Is So Gay

I predict in 10-15 years time after same-sex marriage is legalized in all fifty states the data will show the divorce rate among gay men as being the lowest of any arrangement. Straight couples will still lead here, but lesbians will be quickly catching up. The reason for this is simple, when it comes to domestic arrangements such as these men simply have more experience shall we say "cohabitating." This is largely in part because of thousands of years of military service. Men have been living together in this way quite a bit longer than women and have even managed to form some relatively successful institutions on this basis, such as; Rome, Prussia, and all of Greece. If reality TV is any guide we already know women have far more trouble forming and maintaining cooperative arrangements together.  

We're Fucked Let's Go To Space!

Hey kids want to try a fun little experiment? Gather up a few people and lock them in a room, make sure the room is airtight and there is not enough food to keep everyone alive for a longer than  a few months, then record your findings. If you have trouble finding people to volunteer for this just tell them there will be caught on camera, then you should have no trouble finding people to participate in this nonsense. This is the six billion dollar project a private space exploration firm and a Dutch reality TV producer is putting together. They're going to send people on a way one-way trip to Mars so we can watch them die here on Earth. Now that's great TV. Some of the best and brightest have volunteered to be shot off into space and one of them, a student of astrophysics had this to say; "The future of humanity is in space." The implications of this statement are staggering. Ok, the Earth is in trouble. Actually it's screwed and since we live here we are too. So the idea behind this future failure is we need to colonize space and we need to do it fast!  Here's the problem we'll never colonize space. Doesn't anyone understand what a hairbrained idea it is to leave a habitable, well at least habitable for now planet for the cold embrace of a dusty red rock with no atmosphere? That's like saying we'll I burned down the Amazon so I'm just going to try my luck out in Death Valley. Its not going to work. It's not just me saying it's not going to work either. All the people who actually signed up for this trip already know they're going to die! Hey, guess what people die in space did you know that? Well, a few billion is being spent to figure that out. Just think about that when you're family can't get food because a biblical drought wiped out agriculture in half the country.

The denial here is staggering. The solutions no longer even need to make sense. Instead of facing our problems rationally this species has decided to throw away its future on a ridiculous fantasy. It's like the radical Muslims who believe they'll get 72 virgins after blowing themselves up. These people are sacrificing themselves for the even more ridiculous idea that humanity has a future in space. 

22 Reasons Why The Huffington Post is Fuck

I really hate the Huffington Post. If  you needed any proof liberalism in America is a joke just take a gander at the Huffington Post. Their work has about the same journalistic value as a buzzfeed article. In fact their content of count downs and animal videos often mirrors buzzfeeds. Sometimes I wish armed radicals would shoot their editorial staff, but then I remember if that happened people would somehow confuse them for freedom fighters when they're not even really journalists. Fuck the Huffington Post.

ISreal

I've been thinking about IS (the Islamic state) so far the caliphate as it were, consists of a sizable chunk of Iraq and some of Syria, at least for now. This caliphate was born in a land in the grips of chaos thanks to a failed occupation by an impotent imperialist power, they are a theocratic state and a self-proclaimed Muslim homeland that recruits internationally by appealing to defenders of a faith whose membership seems to be facing persecution in most other parts of the world. They are unrecognized by most, supported with arms and money by a few who hope to use them to further agendas of their own, and are under attack on all sides. Sound familiar? Sounds a bit like the humble beginnings of another Middle Eastern upstart. Can you guess which? I'll give you a hint. Big blue star

It's On Us!

Last night at the Grammys Obama decided to announce the launch of a new campaign against domestic and sexual violence. Well, there's an idea. This is a very pervasive problem in our society. So what's the plan?? 
 The strategy here seems to be a long term shift in cultural values, designed to bring about a society where that kind of violence is "not tolerated" (drones are still ok though) To achieve this the president enlisted the help of the country's most popular performers. 
The idea here is if popular entertainers spend long enough telling us this is bad eventually we'll get the message and phase this out of our society. In the meantime, you can take an online pledge. Yep, take the pledge, not to be a violent womanizer.
 How many future rapists do you think signed up? Well, if he reached MTVs target demographic probably quite a few. Because where are rapists congregating these days? In our universities, it turns out, but who knows maybe Katie Perry's seal of approval on this message will change the mind of a lot of drunk, overly aggressive, insecure, college males. 
What about domestic violence though, you know the wife beaters? Some counties in the United States are so bankrupt they no longer prosecute these cases due to lack of funding. Are we going appropriate funds for this? Of course not all that money has been spent on the pentagon and given to Wall Street. As soon as the president said we're celebrating "artists whose message and music shape our culture" we should have known some bullshit was about to follow. If these so-called culture shapers are wielding their influence on the culture then how come there has been a consistent uptick in rape and domestic violence among the MTV demo? 
What Obama did here was unbelievably crass, but also rather clever. He's a politician, theoretically a very powerful one so wouldn't it make more sense to put forward some kind of policy or legislation to solve a problem? No, because this is simply a problem that is not solvable by any social media campaign or the office of the president. Hey, though he told us its bad we were told to knock it off so if it continues it's on us right? Never mind the continuation of policies that have bankrupted whole cities, never mind the culture of violence he is helping to cultivate with endless wars.
 This is a campaign where there are no results and there is no measure of accountability for its success or failure. We can try harsher punishments for these crimes, and I would be ok with that. After all justice is something that is delivered in one form or another after an infraction has occurred to it is really closer to revenge, and revenge for something like rape is quite ok in my book. I'm sure things like "education" and "prevention" will take a back seat to punishment once the prison system in places where domestic violence is most pervasive, poor communities is privatized then it will present a nice business opportunity to political donors.

Clintons, Bushs, and Measles

This is our third trip into Iraq, we're poised to elect a second Clinton or a third bush as President, and to top it off people aren't getting vaccinated because jenny McCartney told them it's bad. So fuck it clearly this America thing is not working. It's a failed project destined for the dustbin of lost civilizations. At this point, you may as well just drink till it's all over. What will future generations scavenging the irritated wastes thing if they're able to piece together this country started being stricken by childhood plagues once thought eradicated because a woman famous for showing her tits got in her head vaccines cause autism? I imagine they'll be a bit disappointed. You deserve what you're gonna get America you deserve what you're gonna get

That's So European!

People will use the term European to describe something chic, which is annoying, but not as annoying as the word chic which is totally European. They will say things like; "I love those glasses they're very European." Or "We just spent the evening drinking red wine and sample cheese. It was very European." So sure all those things are European, but when I try and tell people the government pays for my health insurance it's not European at all its just me being impoverished, and that my friends is a double standard.

That's Terror-Able!

Terror as a tactic has been largely discredited over the years. It has proven to be so ineffectual to the point of being counterproductive in the long term. Hey, hindsight's always 20/20. Unfortunately, this seems to be a lesson lost on most policy makers, but for the rest of us in the real world it is something to keep in mind. Especially as we watch the results of the United States failed terror campaign in the Middle East beginning to sow the seeds of its own future failures. A few prominent example of failed terror campaigns would be Nazi Germany's genocide on the eastern front. It may seem strange to a people raised on John Wayne and Saving Private Ryan but there were a number of countries, particularly in the east where rather large segments of the population initially saw the Germans as liberators. Well, at least preferable to the Russians anyway.
 That is until they released the death squads and the hapless Nazis found out mass shootings and gassing children is really not the way to win people over. Given Germany's shortage of manpower later in the war this seems like a real lost opportunity. Another glaring example would be the United States conduct in Vietnam. It turns out dropping millions of tons of ordinance on people kind of makes them angry and so rather then bend to Washington's will the united states, the world's premier military power was defeated by a nation of rice farmers. Well, here we are a few decades later and it seems not much was learned from that whole experience and now a decade of failed policies in Iraq and the greater Middle East has culminated into Isis.
 For a long time the US military believed they could suppress any opposition to occupation with terrorism. This manifested itself into night raids where people would be carried off to secret prisons and often never heard from again. Another method utilized was the bombing of anywhere military aged males might gather. This policy resulted in many ruined social gatherings. It turns out drone operators and apache gunship pilots have trouble distinguishing a soccer game or a wedding from an armed uprising. Live and learn I guess.
 Now they are finding out people tend to get mad when they're routinely massacred and in a country where there are no jobs, plenty of guns, and even more angry men relieved of family responsibilities by a hellfire missile problems may arise. So here comes Isis which for now has the convenience of having the western militaries around keeping the relatives of the people they massacre busy. Once that situation changes what seems like a relatively cohesive fighting force will eventually fracture and the Islamic state will most likely be left wondering where they went wrong.

Who You Gonna Call?

This reboot of Ghost Busters, reboot being Hollywood speak for cashing in on a classic title with a dumbed-down remake for dipshit Millennials is not OK. They've already decided to fuck up the classic Terminator with a reboot where Sara Conner is played by hot game of thrones chick. This time she's a highly trained badass which misses the fuckin point of the character entirely, but hey who has time for character arch we have instagrams to send! This time the ghost busters are all women. Why? Well, you know because of token Hollywood liberalism. The same "liberal" Hollywood that released a movie glorifying a psychotic killer in an illegal war the same weekend they released their MLK movie. Holywood, stop fucking with cinematic masterpieces for the sake of millennial assholes. Oh, by he way Ghost Busters was made in the 80s is this generation really that much dumber than people from the fuckin 80s? I understand its an industry and it's there to make money. There has been that element in art out there for centuries, but seriously where is your decency? Why can't these people recognize something that's not just an iconic but a masterpiece in its medium? That would be like if they decided not enough people were coming to see David, the statue. So they decided to get people interested again they were going to carve his face to look like Channing Tatum. 

Become the change you want to see

I've decided to become the change I want to see. And the Change I want to see is all the people who do things like buy bumper stickers that say become the change you want to see get shot in the fuckin head.

The Dominoes Are Falling! The Dominoes Are Falling!

http://rt.com/news/226119-greece-election-results-syriza/

The leadership of Syriza, the new majority party in the Greek Parliament is openly anti-capitalist. I would like to to make a prediction. Greece ends up leaving the Eurozone resulting in financial meltdown. The leaders of the EU decide to punish the Greek people via economic strangulation. This will fail, however, due to Greece's thriving new relationship with Russia. Other European nations, most likely the rest of the so-called PIIGS emboldened by Greece's example follow suit and elect their own leftist, some possibly even borderline communist governments. Wouldn't it be a hilarious irony if after all those decades of cold war politics, after all that containment bullshit, after all the wars, and the trillions of dollars spent if half of Europe became communist just like that? So much for the dominoes. 

Selma

First Ferguson happens then the Garner thing on Stanton Island and all leading up to MLK day. The marketing Gods must really be smiling on the distributors of the Martin Luther King sort of biopic "Selma." 

Of course, it was expected black moviegoers would turn out for it but now white liberal moviegoers will feel obligated to cough up the ten bucks at the box office too! Nothing makes people open their wallets faster than righteous indignation or guilt. Thank you deteriorating race relations thank you! 

So how is the movie itself? I have no idea. I won't see it. Frankly a movie about Martin Luther King made by Holywood the traditional propaganda arm of the US government is the equivalent of trusting Oscar Schindler's legacy with Joseph Goebells. 

After all these are the people that while the Doctor was protesting Vietnam were actively recruiting celebrities for the militaries own recruiting drive. I'm no expert on the reverend but how did he feel about powerful instructions repressing the poor to the point of dropping bombs on them?

We need to face the facts King was a great man but this day hasn't meant a damn thing in a long time. All it is, is a time for pho-liberal white people to pat themselves on the back and for blacks to feel like all this is getting them somewhere. I don't care how many times they interview Obama and Oprah its still the same shit. 

Unity, What State Is It In?

The state of the union is on tonight and if you planned on watching it don't waste your time. I can summarize it for you right here.
First the president will make a few dubious claims about adding jobs and growing the economy.
Then he will remind us there is still a global war on terror and that we are still committed to it. He will cite at least one assassination and the vague results from a few bombing campaigns to help you forget it is a war without end.
Then he will talk about our commitment to education. If America is to remain on the forefront of technology and what not we will need to educate our children. His recommendation will probably be more college loans.Loans which will ensure the children of the leaders of the institutions that issue the get a far better education than your children.
Ok, so that must have taken about a minute and a half to read as opposed to an entire hour or however long it is. You're welcome. 
I'm sure this didn't really answer any of your questions and neither will the state of the union. This version is just more concise. So how are things going really?
Well, globalization has really made the state of the union an outdated tradition. We live in a highly complex integrated global society! In other words, we are the world. Now the favored buzz words of analyst, pundits, and the clueless is progress. What kind of progress are we making? Good question!
Well, on the home front it was a good year for gun manufacturers. Their sales are way up and thanks to the escapades of the military there seems to be plenty of contracts to go around.
A number of diseases once thought eradicated are now making comebacks thanks to lack of ability to pay in some parts of the world, and in our own little asylum thanks to a growing movement of people who see vaccines as some kind of conspiracy to make children autistic. To what ends, I have no idea. 
Just keep this rejection of science in mind it is a hallmark of the failing society.
Europe's getting really interesting. The former Eastern bloc countries are welcoming in NATO firepower who for whatever reason seem to be keen on surrounding Russia and instead of working towards that lofty goal of a world without nuclear weapons the United States and Russia are both projected to spend hundreds of billions of dollars over the next decade upgrading these arsenals. So that should give us all something to look forward to.
Oh, and let's not forget the growing popularity of far right-wing parties, and the surging hatred of immigrants. This is so prevalent now Germany's answer to housing refugees is refurbished concentration camps. How progressive! 
Japan has decided to up its military budget and lift its ban on nuclear weapons. Sounds like they know which way progress is heading.
In China, the rivers are turning red, birds are falling out of the sky, and the sun is no longer visible in certain cities. If you want to know about China just read the book of revelations. It paints a similar picture.
Africa is well...still Africa 
Antarctica is a few years away from simply not existing. The good new is there will be oil to drill for and a new passageway for international trade! Which will give the submarines something to do once these countries go to war. 
The best example of progress right now, and by progress I mean the forward momentum towards the future is probably Greece and the Ukraine which are quickly falling back into the dark ages.
So what's the good news? What forward strides has humanity made? All this information is now easily accessible from your Galaxy 5 or Iphone 6!

Arts and Entertainment

Fantasia is on Netflix! If you've never seen this cinematic masterpiece (at least the first half) watch it right away! It is a monumental collaborative effort by artists and musicians who created something of unparalleled depth and imagination.
 Now if you've only been around 20 years or so it maybe a little hard for you to understand at first because Fantasia is something Holywood has not created in your lifetime, it is an actual piece of art! It invokes the viewer to think about the nature of time and challenges humanity's conception of it's place in the universe. It may be a tough pill for millennials to swallow. The Millennials, of course are  people who've been raised on hypersexual, vaguely pedophilic, fatally optimistic, superficial "entertainment" carefully tailored to a nation of doped out egomaniacal psychopaths.
 It is the answer to why Holywood's industrialized entertainment machine needs to die. Art and culture, phenomenons that are at least somewhat unique to the human race have been commodified and instead of being expressions of the human viewpoint has been supplanted by a corporate monolithic pseudo-culture that has destroyed the artist with the profit motive, there is virtually nothing you get to see that has not been tainted by the profit motive. There are no more artists there are only entertainers, products that come prepackaged. Art is not like simple entertainment. Art invokes thought, entertained people are not thinking people they are simply things that consume, ie they are a hungry hungry horde. Holywood does not create culture, it destroys it. Fling Hollywood into the fucking sea and shoot whatever tries to crawl back to shore!

Children Are The Future....

In a recent study conducted at the University of North Dakota researchers found that roughly a third of male students asked said they would force a woman to have sex with them if they were convinced there would be no consequences. What's interesting though is this number dropped significantly when the word "rape" was used. That is to say they were asked directly; "Would you rape a woman if given the chance?" Rape? No way! Forced sex? Yeah, that's just fine. Think any of these kids are considering law school? Remember when this country tried to save dozens of girls from sexual slavery by launching a hashtag campaign? Remember how much we patted ourselves on the back when woman in Afghanistan got to vote in the elections we rigged for them? It's very interesting that a country that seems so interested in the rights of women in other parts of the world that a mentality like this one would be so prevalent. What does it say about us and our system of "higher education" when a third of the pupils in this system have no problem with rape? Maybe it's no coincidence Harvard now offers courses in anal.