Nail Polish

The nail polish that tests for date rape drugs is a pretty good idea, however I would be a bit insulted if I was talking to a girl at bar or party and she was constantly dipping her nail in drink. I wonder what protocol will be when it comes to using this polish. Ladies will you subtlety dip a nail in or will you say "excuse me one second....Ok you were saying?

Don't You Think You're Being A Little Hard On The Boy?

Did you know that in the NFL if you're found to "have engaged in sexual assault" you will now be suspended for 6 games! This is apparently a toughened up policy in response to an incident where a player was filmed beating his fiance UNCONSCIOUSNESS. So to summarize if you're in the NFL and you beat and rape someone you stay home for 6 weeks. Well I guess this is the sort of policy a lot of these guys are used to from their time in the universities.

But She's A Girl!

Let me preface this by saying I know almost nothing about basketball, and I don't follow sports. Now that I've shown you my credentials I want to say that when I found out about the hiring Becky Harmon as an assistant coach for an NBA team I was fascinated. Not because I see this whole thing as a sort of catalyst that will push us towards a new equality between the sexes, but because its such a genius and cynical business strategy.
 I have no reason to doubt this woman's skills or abilities, but I'm willing to bet those aren't the only reasons she got the job. I'm suggesting there were ulterior motives. Just think of the money that will be made when a movie is made about her overcoming adversity and ultimately winning the teams respect. One way or another whoever produces this feel good picture from the not too distant future will have to pay the Spurs or the NBA an ass load of money. Who knows maybe the NBA will produce it themselves.

Human Kinections

I always knew "The Poltergeist" was going to be the most influential piece of cinema in history. Almost prophetic really. Remember the part where the ghostly hand reaches out and grabs the little girl with the Hulk Hogan hair? Well I'll be damned if that wasn't the inspiration for this technological break through. Around 6 months ago a team from MIT demonstrated a new technology that allows someone using an Xbox Kinect to physically interact with people anyone anywhere in the world by literally reaching across cyberspace and through their tv screen. That is something that can actually happen! As the technology is developed and product methods refined it will become available to the consumer. Usually different income markets receive these sort of things in descending order. Anyway what this effectively does is give people a way to give hand jobs over the internet. This very much complicate the lives of webcam models all over the world who may now have to get at least somewhat physical with their clientele or risk loosing their business. This technology will spark a debate about the definition of prostitution as millions of people who find this new more sanitary way of performing sexual favors a bit more palpable.

Cancer Tuesday

I was at the bank today and they asked if I would like to donate to cancer research. When that's said to me all I hear is, "would you like to help maintain the very large salary of a foundation president?" In all honesty I'm not particularly interested in doing that, and as far as cancer research goes I can't even afford current cancer treatments so its of little consequence to me if they come up with any kind of new cutting edge treatment. So as far as donating goes, no thank you. I think I will take the dollar and buy a taco instead. Happy taco Tuesday everyone!!!

Nice to meet you too

I live next to a cute girl who appears to be about my age, or at least an age I could pass for. I thought about trying to talk to her, but then I reasoned when she's on her deck she can see me in my living so I could only assume she doesn't want to talk to me. Should I be concerned that apparently I'm really ashamed about some of the things I do in my free time?

Rebooting A Dead Brand

Hey, want a good way to start selling some of those tracks from artists whose fan base is starting to well..die off? Well, here's an idea make a biopic about them! A number of studios have announced their intent to release a number of biopics the vast majority of which are about famous dead musicians. Most notably James Brown and Jimmy Hendrix. Alright fair enough two phenomenal performers who had an undeniable impact on music, but how much do you want to bet that both stories include a poor kid with big dreams, a meteoric rise to fame, substance abuse problems, and relationship difficulties? You can be sure of this, because this is how EVERY BIOPOIC ABOUT MUSICIAN GOES! They both clearly had interesting lives, but how many times does this story need to be told? How badly strapped for ideas, or just how lazy are these studio execs and writers that they think it's ok to keep making these movies? Well, here's a hint every year a new movie about a friends with benefits arrangement that gets complicated by romantic feelings is made every year. All they do is change out the sexy flavor of the month celebrities. Ok, instead of Natalie Portman we'll put in Mila Kunis this time "she's so hot right now! She's this year's Natalie!" And that ideas taken from an episode of Seinfeld. That's just an example.
 I haven't researched this claim, but its probably safe to say the studios that are producing these films have a financial interest in whatever record company that owns the rights to the works of Hendrix and Brown.
 Two names that when combined sound like the name of a south side law firm now that I think about it. This is just another way of "rebooting". They're rebooting the brands of Jimmy Hendrix and James Brown. As soon as these movies hit theaters you will see the sales of Brown and Hendrix tracks surge. Also,I'm sure the actors will make great fodder for the annual commercial dressed up to look like an awards ceremony.
This is a glorified commercial thought up by some of the most cynical minds in advertising. Oh, We can also look forward to some article of clothing worn in the movie being obnoxiously integrated into peoples day to day attire. Every yuppie asshole is going to look fuckin rad with a tie-dyed scarf around the neck!

On a scale from 1 to 10

We went to the moon, but we'll never get rid of mosquitoes. How does this feat and this failure average into our rating as a species? Pretty much any form of matter can replicated out of the same material via 3d printing, yet we'll never see the end of millions flu deaths world wide each year. Honestly I don't know weather to be impressed or not. No matter how far man may try and stretch the boundaries of its dominion it will never conquer those smallest elements, those other organisms that always have the upper hand on us. No matter how many cans of consumer grade cans of pesticide we sell to people so that they can spray it into the stagnant air of their homes the roach population will always be on the rise, no matter how many traps we set there will always be rats openly defying our wishes for them to stay far away from or homes. Not a damn thing we can do about any of it.