Thank God

I'm friends with a lot of people who at least profess to be Christian. So it always confuses me when I see these people thanking God for the things they have or asking God for more. I'm not exactly a biblical scholar but from what I've read God rarely does favors for people he's taken an active interest in. If God's talking to someone it's more often than not to make a demand and often it won't be something good for that person's health. Your typical conversation with God seems to go something like this:
God: I want you to give up all your stuff and go tell those pagans about me.
believer: All my stuff?
God: Yes all of it.
Believer: Including the house and farm?
God: Especially the house and farm.
Believer: Ok and you want me to tell the pagans to drop what they're doing and worship you?
God: Exactly
Believer: They might react poorly to that
God: Not really my problem, but hey there's a fifty-fifty chance I'll get you out of whatever trouble you get into.
Then it's only a matter of time before said person is executed, fed to lions, stoned to death, or made a slave. So if you're thanking God for your most recent raise, closing on your house, your kid's good grades, a recent gig, or anything else chances are God probably had nothing to do with any of that. If you knew what was good for you, you'd try and stay off his radar.

We Will Rock You!

People are warning the poor misguided demonstrators; people they see as having no idea why they are on the streets but who are always happy to break something may end up destroying the city! Ok, a few windows have been smashed and a building or two burnt, but just how worse off is the city? Well according to a recent WAVE study poor children in Baltimore are about as well off as children in Nigeria if that gives you an idea of what the city was like before these "riots" broke out. This has worked out well though for John Hopkins University as it needs a steady supply of cheap labor to run the cafeteria and maintain the campus for their more privileged students
Don't worry though they occasionally mention feeling bad for them in their sociology classes. It seems strange though Baltimore would be in this kind of a condition. It's a major port city on the east coast and apparently a major manufacturing center. Oh, no let me rephrase that. It WAS a major manufacturing center. So what happened? Well according to Wikipedia the factories left and the city went into a six-decade spiral of decline.
 So its the same old story. Massive joblessness leading to stunted social mobility, leading to hopelessness, leading to desperation leading to crime, etc.  Not to worry though Baltimore has experienced a revitalization now that it has transitioned into a "service economy!" So the waterfront real estate is doing just fine, the University is doing just fine, the rest of the city well see Nigeria. In summation if you're worried about a few rocks destroying Baltimore you probably need to pick up a few books on neo-liberal economics

UberKinder!

It really is just a shame that Himmler and DR, Mengele live to see "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody." Whether it's these two little UberKinders, a TV news anchor, or an Olympic gymnastics team this country really enjoys its little Aryan children.

You Have The Right To Do What You're Told

A number of people have posted "right things" to say during police encounters, basically what your rights are if you've been pulled over, stopped on the street, etc. The advice includes such things as refusing to get out of your car, refusing field toxicology testing, refusing to let the officer search you or your vehicle. This is extremely poor advice. More than likely trying to remind the officers you have "rights" will probably just irritate them and if you're unarmed and have no sway in the legal system this is probably a bad idea. The bill of rights is printed on paper and paper is a very poor defense against a baton or bullet. If you're affluent and have access to vast legal resources this advice may be useful, but if not it's a good way to get hurt and end up in jail.

There's No Place For Me in the X-Men

Sometimes I wonder if I'm a mutant, but my only power is the ability to always have lots and lots dandruff.

Boston Strong?

What are the criteria that have to be met before an event can be officially defined as a tragedy? Is it the scope of the event, or is it more about the people affected? Is a school shooting more of a tragedy than an office massacre because the victims might be primarily children?
 I have no idea, but what I do know is a tragedy is an event, and an event has to happen within a space.  It is very likely these spaces will be in a major city in the past this has presented abundant opportunities for profit.
 After 9/11 everyone wanted to by New York themed merchandise, after the Boston Marathon bombing a popular hashtag was adopted for a hot selling piece of merchandise a simple bracelet that said "Boston Strong" on it. So tragedy presents an opportunity for financial gain sure, but the problem is there is no way of knowing where and when one might happen. This might leave a potential producer of tragic accessories at a marked disadvantage. So what do you do? After 9/11, a lot of merchandises was produced based on specific references to the attack. One example is the t-shirt that featured the twin towers with accompanying text that said something like "9/11 never forget" The events of Boston changed this though. Instead of depicting anything specific from the event it was decided simply to adopt a slogan "Boston Strong" This is probably because unlike 9/11 there wasn't much iconic imagery that lent itself to an image that could be printed on a t-shirt. Now that it's possible to be this vague it is also possible to being producing merchandise that will be ready to go the minute the next "national tragedy" occurs in a major American city. Two words are all that's needed the name of the city and some positive sounding adjective. I'd recommend making a few different ones for each city, try out each hashtag and see which is most commonly used and there you go that will be the one you sell. People can feel like they've come together and stood against soe vague evil after they've paid five bucks for something that reads #chicagoreal or #LAtough or #cleavlandcool