Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Thank God

I'm friends with a lot of people who at least profess to be Christian. So it always confuses me when I see these people thanking God for the things they have or asking God for more. I'm not exactly a biblical scholar but from what I've read God rarely does favors for people he's taken an active interest in. If God's talking to someone it's more often than not to make a demand and often it won't be something good for that person's health. Your typical conversation with God seems to go something like this:
God: I want you to give up all your stuff and go tell those pagans about me.
believer: All my stuff?
God: Yes all of it.
Believer: Including the house and farm?
God: Especially the house and farm.
Believer: Ok and you want me to tell the pagans to drop what they're doing and worship you?
God: Exactly
Believer: They might react poorly to that
God: Not really my problem, but hey there's a fifty-fifty chance I'll get you out of whatever trouble you get into.
Then it's only a matter of time before said person is executed, fed to lions, stoned to death, or made a slave. So if you're thanking God for your most recent raise, closing on your house, your kid's good grades, a recent gig, or anything else chances are God probably had nothing to do with any of that. If you knew what was good for you, you'd try and stay off his radar.

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