Die Young! Its Great P.R.

Are you about 19-23 years old and have spent the majority of those years being an inconsiderate asshole? Were you an idiot before but now that you've been introduced into the binge drinking culture of college you've become utterly insufferable? Well if you're like millions of other white over-privileged American youths the answer to all these questions is probably yes. It may seem like you have life by the balls now, you're young, attractive, go to a reputable school, and as far as everyone's concerned you have your whole life ahead of you. The possibilities are just endless. WAIT! There's a problem eventually this time in your life will end, your looks will fade, your degree will prove useless (even if it does get you a job it will probably be in some morally reprehensible field like marketing), and everyone will realize that vast potential they thought you had may have been a bit overstated. So what do you do? Die young! I'm part of what has been dubbed "generation-x", we grew up on MTV, and every year they would report from the hedonistic orgies of excess they called spring break that at least a hand full of drunk assholes had fallen to their deaths from hotel balconies. This was in an effort to remind us to be safe in between segments of them literally shooting super soakers full of liquor at people on the street. Anyway after these people fell victim to mean old gravity they would parade the families in front of us in tv specials they aired the next year to proceeded spring break in an effort to appear to have some kind of social conscious. Let me remind you these specials were produced by the same network that brought us spring break. These grieving parents would go on to tell America what great, smart, and wonderful kids Claire, Jason, Stephanie, and Jake were. How they were going to go to medical school, or become engineers, or senate aids, or whatever. During all this no one stood up and said, "Jake fell off a balcony. I'm not sure he understood gravity. His chances of getting into med-school were probably slim at best." That's the way its always been though. No one wants to call out a dead young person on their bullshit and point out what assholes they really were. Instead they want to build a cult around them and act like they're somehow humanities lost treasures. Its only going to get worse with the "Y" generation. These kids are the biggest bunch turds to slither from America's rectum. Self absorbed, arrogant, and hedonistic these kids don't have a chance, and they have no future. The best thing that can happen to them is to die young in an accident caused by their own stupidity.